I Know What You're Doing

Sam was making a sandwich for her girlfriend.

“I can make my own sandwich, you know. You don't always have to make all the food I eat,” Liz, said girlfriend, said.

“I know.”

“I mean I appreciate that you make me dinner every night when I come home from work, but I am capable of making myself a sandwich.”

“I know, honey, but I enjoy making you food. I like to spoil you.”

The real reason Sam insisted on making Liz this sandwich, as well as almost all of her meals, was that Sam was trying, slowly, stealthily, over time, to sophisticate her girlfriend's tastebuds.

“Okay, but you're not going to be putting weird shit in it, are you?” Liz asked. “I just want a turkey, cheese, mayonnaise sandwich. I don't even want lettuce or tomato today. Can you handle that? No green peppers, no patés, no weird aiolis, and definitely none of those edible flowers you got from the Farmer's Market.”

Sam rolled her eyes. “Fine, fine. And, yes, I am capable of making you a simple sandwich. If that's what you want.”

Liz kissed Sam on the cheek to establish the good-naturedness of the end of this exchange. “Thank you, baby,” she said as she left the kitchen.

Sam's lips broke into a tiny smile as she cracked fresh black pepper into Liz's sandwich. Surely seasoning didn't count. As Sam opened the spice cabinet to see what else she might sneak into the sandwich - perhaps some dried cilantro? For months Sam had been increasing the amount of various forms of the herb she snuck into her girlfriend's food, in hopes that one day Liz would realize that cilantro really was, like, the best thing ever.

“I hear you opening cabinets in there!” Liz called out from the living room. “What could you possibly be doing to my turkey, cheese, mayonnaise sandwich that would require opening a cabinet? I'm coming in there!”

“No!” Sam yelled back, “You know I don't like to be watched when I cook! I'm not doing anything! You just keep playing your little video game.”

Their roommate, Amanda, and her boyfriend Johnny came in the front door, which opened to the living room.

“Oh hey, Liz, you winning?” Amanda said.

“Well, Zelda doesn't really work that way,” said Liz.

“Oh, yeah, I never really played video games,” Amanda said.